We have been at this farming adventure for a little over a year at this point and unfortunately it has taken me this long to decide to blog about my adventure into this life. Fearful to Fearless sums up my first year pretty well; although, I am still working towards the fearless end. This journey was suppose to be one that my husband and I took together; side by side, hand in hand; suppose to be…
See for the first year I felt like just the farmer’s wife; I don’t mean that in any negative way; I just mean that I felt more like a wife and not so much farmer. That is just my personality though. I have always been the type that sits back and lets my husband take the lead.
* Side note: this is my second time writing this post as I had completed it the first time and intended on saving to proof read, when shouts for help rang out from downstairs. our 18 month old son had thrown up everywhere. So I learned to not write my posts directly on my website platform, Blog lesson 1!
When we first moved onto the farm I was excited and I was scared, for many reasons. I struggle to step outside my comfort zone and cows were outside my comfort zone. Just being around them was unnerving for me but I would try to be around them in hopes that I would magically be comfortable. That didn’t happen, but I did realize that I need to push myself further to get to where I wanted.
I would try to help Dakota bring the cows in and it got discouraging because I couldn’t “think like a cow”. Things would get heated and I at times I resented the farm. It did come to a point where we decided that I needed to take a job outside the home to help ease things financially.
I began working part time in May 2018. While I was working Dakota kept all four of kids at home and managed to handle the farm. During the time I was working I admittedly checked out a bit. I wouldn’t push myself to become more familiar with the cows and I helped when things were breaking. During this time I experience one of my many low moments on the farm; I was supposed to watch the barn cleaner as it has a tendency to break. Well I was talking with the kids and not paying attention, of course it broke then. About a quarter of the barn cleaner chain ended up in the spreader piece by piece. Dakota dug it out of the spreader and I helped put the chain back together. While I was putting it back together I wasn’t paying attention as I hurried to get back together; I ended up putting some of the links in backwards. This lead to the links getting stuck at a corner and stopping the chain from moving. We almost called out the company’s repairman to come look but thankfully found the problem. Of course none of this can happen when the gutters are too full or where there is an empty spot, so we had to be elbows deep in manure all because I took my eyes off the ball.
On the other hand, it was during those months that the moment came when it hit me...I WANTED to be home, on the farm. Dakota had milked that morning and had an appointment to go to. There was a first calf heifer in labor but it looked like things were progressing slowly. So Dakota went to his appointment and I was going to check on her ever so often. Well about half an hour after he left she was very agitated and uncomfortable; she was in active labor. I left her alone for another 15 minutes or so and went back, the calf’s feet were visible and we were going to have a baby. As time went on it became obvious that mama was having a hard time; the sack had broken and I was almost positive the calf had died. I called Dakota and told him what was happening and he told me how I could help. It was not easy at all but I delivered that calf with no other human help. As the calf came out its nostrils twitched and it showed signs of being alive. I got the calf up by mama and tried to help it clear its nose. I did that, me, I was there and I brought live into this world.
That is the moment I told myself, “I am a farmer!”
The picture is of my our son Memphis and the calf I delivered. We brought it inside to help get it warm.